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Fans of Slayton’s cutting-edge humor not only fill
venues wherever he appears, but have also made his two comedy CD’s,
“Raging Bully” and “I’ve Come For Your Children,”
best-sellers. Television viewers will recognize him from his recent HBO
series, “The Mind Of The Married Man,” and his portrayal of Joey
Bishop, opposite Ray Liotta and Joe Mantegna, in the critically
acclaimed HBO original movie “The Rat Pack.”
His other movie credits include “Get Shorty,”
“Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star,” “Bandits,” “Ed Wood”
and “
Wayne
’s World 2.” He also makes a memorable appearance in the new cult
favorite, “The Aristocrats,” which can best be described as 100 top
comedians taking turns telling the world’s dirtiest joke.
“You get burned out doing stand-up after awhile,”
Slayton said, ‘officially’ starting the interview. “It’s
really…”
“So what are you telling me?” I interrupted. “Are
you burned out?”
“Well, when I feel burned out it’s… You know, if I
do a show and it’s a great show it totally revitalizes me. Before I go
on stage and after I get off stage I just feel like… Before you’d
think you were god, but now I’m thinking I’m getting too old for
this shit. I really don’t want to do this. But then I get up on stage
and ninety five percent of the time I have to say it’s a great
experience because I’m always talking to people and trying out new
things. You know, messing around with the crowd. And then I get off and
think, ‘Wow, that was great!’ Then after I calm down, have a drink
and relax, I realize I gotta get up and do it again! I look at guys like
Leno and Seinfeld who don’t break a sweat. They enjoy doing this and
have more money than god. But you know I get up there and I sweat…”
“But you get yourself all worked up,” I pointed-out.
“You’re opinionated and… Oh, by the way, this is the interview.
We’re doing it right now.”
“The interview is now? I felt like I was almost done!
We’re starting now? Hey! How are you Dave?!”
“Right,” I said. “I’ve seen Leno and he gets up
and is just joke around.”
“Well, Leno loves this with a passion. And Seinfeld…
Like I said, these guys have more money than god. And Leno, I know every
weekend when he’s not working on his TV show is performing in Vegas.
He’s doing corporate gigs. He’s making a quarter of a million
dollars a weekend. So is Seinfeld. And it’s like… I guess it’s
just that they love doing it so much. But the thing I have to say is,
I’ve been working… I mean, Jay’s been at this longer than I have.
But if there’s one guy who has more miles on his ass… I don’t
think there’s any comic in the business who has more hours on stage
than I have. With the possibility of maybe George Carlin, who was doing
it probably 15 years before I started.”
“You know, I work almost every week,” he continued.
“Over the years… you know, I used to open for so many bands and do
so many corporate events, so many crappy one-nighters in clubs. But
it’s been a necessity for me. Five years ago I bought a house that’s
been a money pit. It’s like the movie. Anything and everything that
could go wrong with the house has happened. Everybody who owns a house
has their own story, but they really have nothing on me. Unless your
home was actually destroyed in an earthquake or a fire… But you know?
That would be better for me. I would rather have that, because I have it
covered and I could start all over again. But I have things go wrong
every week that’s not covered by insurance. I have mistakes that I
made the first time, or that contractors made that’s just… It’s
this house. I can’t talk about it, because the whole interview would
be about my house. But I’m on the road so much that I’m just getting
a little burned-out doing stand-up.”
“What about movies?” I asked. “You do a lot of
movies.”
“You know what? I’ve been up for so many movies in the
last couple years. And you know what the problem is? I’ve been on the
road so much that every time I’m called to read for a movie, I’m out
of town. And if they want to see me for a film, I’m out of town. And
I’ll tell them that next week I’m home. There are weeks I’m home.
But I’m home, my phone is not gonna ring. But I guarantee the week I
leave – the day before or the day after – somebody is gonna call and
want me to come in and read for something. And I can never do it! And
they’ll say, ‘Oh, we’ll see Bobby next week.’ And by the time I
get back, they’ve already cast somebody else in the role.”
“There was a movie I was supposed to do last year with
Denzel Washington. It wasn’t a big part, but it was a ground-breaking,
amazing A-List film. Then at the last minute, they went over budget so
they pulled the plug on the film. This stuff never happens! Anyhow,
Denzel still got paid millions and millions of dollars. But since I
hadn’t worked in a year, I lost my actor’s insurance. I had to start
paying for insurance.”
“People have worse problems. They’ll read this and go,
‘Oh, poor baby.’ You know…” he laughed. “But in my realm –
in the world of “show business” – I have to say I’ve taken a lot
of hits. You know, ‘Mind Of A Married Man,’ (Slayton’s HBO
series), was on a couple of years ago. If it would’ve stayed on one
more season, I think it would’ve helped me break out of the clubs.”
“I’m in the movie ‘The Aristocrats.’ Did you see
that?”
“No,” I replied.
“It wasn’t carried by a lot of theaters because it was
supposed to be such a dirty film. But it was shown in some of the major
houses in cities like LA and
New York
. And it got rave reviews. It’s not really a movie. When Penn Gillette
called me up to do it, he told me they were doing a documentary. They
never planned on it becoming a film. I really don’t know what they
were planning on doing, but they asked me if I wanted to tell the joke.
I was barely familiar with the joke. Most comics I know were like,
‘That stupid joke?’ It’s not a funny joke. It’s never been a
funny joke. I guess it’s just the comic’s interpretation of telling
the filthiest joke ever. But it’s funny because every review I read,
they made it seem like comics sit in the back room at comedy clubs
trying to top each other with this joke. I’ve never seen that. Most of
the comics who’ve seen the movie that I’ve talked to, really never
saw it. The joke was done in Vaudeville, I think. It just got dirtier
and dirtier over the years.”
“It’s funny that movie took off so big, but it’s
just not really even a film. A lot of it is really grainy, they shot it
on a little home video player. It’s funny, but… I found it
fascinating because I knew everybody in it. And they put me on for,
like, a minute. And I’m like the cleanest guy in the movie and I told
the joke as dirty as I could!” he laughed.
“Where did they film you doing this?” I asked.
“At The Improv. Comics were, like, improvising on the
joke, reconstructing the joke – and they just asked me to tell it.
They wanted some guys just telling the joke. ‘Here’s the joke!’ I
didn’t screw around with it too much. So I just told the joke as dirty
as I could. As simple and as fast as I could. I watch the movie and
think, ‘God, I’m the cleanest guy in it!’ You have to see it to
know what I’m talking about. And none of the comics got paid for it
either. Fuck. Nobody got any money from them. I imagine they’re making
the money, but you know it was their idea, their vision and their baby.
So God bless them. You know what I mean? And if it’s a big movie and
they make a lot of money, I’m not gonna see a cent. That’s the story
of my life Dave!”
“You were talking earlier about all the touring you’ve
done,” I said. “But when you go somewhere, everybody knows you. You
pack the clubs.”
“You know what? Because I’ve been doing a lot of great
radio. I also do the television shows. Unless you do radio or
television, people really don’t keep up with who you are. You know,
when you watch this crap – like ‘Last Comic Standing.’ Garbage.
The comics on that show… There are a few good ones, but most of them
have no more than ten or fifteen minutes of good material. But they put
a ‘Last Comic Standing Tour’ out there and these guys are packing
rooms because they were on (the television show).”
“Yeah, but how long is that going to last?” I asked
him.
“I don’t know. But the first season a few guys did it
– really mediocre comics, I don’t want to mention any names. But the
biggest comic in
America
, who is really not that bad of a comic, is Dane Cook. His CD from a few
months ago – and he’s a really great promoter – he has emails and
websites and constantly sends out stuff to people. He’s a salesman.
And he gets on stage – girls like him. He’s a big tall hunky,
loud… But you know if you promote yourself, if you’re on TV… You
know, I’ve just been out there doing stand-up, working the clubs. I
just keep saying to myself, ‘any day now.’ Whether it happens or
not, as soon as something big hits, a movie or a TV show, all of a
sudden it’ll be ‘Bobby Slayton!’ It’s almost like you’re an
overnight success, even though you’ve been doing it for like thirty
years. You know?”
“And it can be real frustrating. But I don’t mind.
When I see the Jerry Seinfeld’s, the Bill Maher’s, or the Jon
Stewart’s… You know, a lot of these guys are friends of mine. Some
of them even used to open shows for me. They’re really talented guys.
But when I see crap, like Larry The Cable Guy. When I see a guy like…
I don’t want to go into all the names, but the Blue Collar shit and
Def Comedy crap and ‘Last Comic Standing.’ I just see shit.”
“Television can make anyone a celebrity,” I said.
“It’s amazing… But sometimes that’s what people
want. You gotta remember that Hilary Duff is selling more records than
The Rolling Stones! This is what these morons want. They’re idiots.”
“I’m shocked. A guy like me, Robert Schimmel, Dom
Irrera, Richard Belzer, Richard Lewis… I mean, we all do well. But
we’ll never do as well as Carrot Top or Dane Cook,” he laughed.
“And these guys are all ten times the comic. None of these guys will
draw as much as Dane Cook. Schimmel, Lewis and me together won’t draw
as much as Carrot Top does. You know? They elect George Bush and these
are the people that go ‘Larry The Cable Guy’s better than
Letterman.’ And these are the people who listen to Hilary Duff…”
“Right now I’m looking at a copy of your CD, ‘I’ve
Come For Your Children,” I said.
“That’s a great CD. I have another one called
‘Raging Bully.”
“I also have that,” I noted.
“Good. How’s Hilarities (
Cleveland
) doing?”
“They’re doing great,” I reported. “They’re
bringing in the top acts and getting great audiences. I was there a few
weeks ago and saw The Three Blonde Moms.”
“How was it?”
“It was good,” I replied. “I really liked it. A lot
of people think it’s a ‘chick show…”
“Well, you’re a chick,”
“Thank you very much…”
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